Hello creepa’s sorry I lied about my tumblr being my blog, it really wasn’t a good platform to mass upload HD pics so I just settled into reviving my old blogger. I’m pretty sure you can deal with that bit of trauma. Any ways, I landed in Hawaii after ‘round 11 hours on the plane, which wasn’t really that bad minus the fact that United is a cheap sand-papery butthole chafing for your money wanting you to pay for your inflight meal, wtf? The cheap Asian that I am I setteled for an inexpensive bagel at the airport and was well rewarded for my patience when the family treated me out to Korean bbq buffet (HALLUH!).
The time zone is 6 hours behind DC’s but seeing as it was summer break when I left and I was already going to bed @ 5 AM every night I was on Island time before I even landed! (lmao I’m so wise) The weather is amazing, and people complain that it’s really humid here but honestly, just before leaving the great old Tidewater region, which felt like the space between a sweaty man’s testicles, Hawaii is just perfect. It’s nice and breezy, warm, and cheerfully sunny (when it’s not raining which is frequent but it is in the middle of the Pacific). The people are extremely welcoming, loving, and vocal. I’m home. Seriosously, my friend keeps apologizing ‘bout how brash her family is, but I don’t think she knows how my family is. The word “hideous” is thrown around more than “hello” and they call each other fat all the time… it’s as if I never left home. Anne tells me her parents are fobs and they remind me of my own. They have the same fob charm I find adorable too.
I’ve already learned how to kako, Tongan weaving, and learned a few curse words in Tongan. Sweet Ta’e. They love feeding me (i.e their love language is also food) bringing me to realize how similar Korean and Tongan culture are. We drive the same (without regard for human longevity), love to eat, bicker, and have tons of family living under the same roof. Seriously I couldn’t be happier and it seems like they already have a crap ton of things they want to bring me all around the islands to do. I can’t wait.
5:26 hour plane ride to San Francisco from BWI .2 hour layover, not bad at all.
Some pretty San Fran Mountains
The Big Blue Pacific
Another 5-6 hour plane ride to HONOLULU AIRPORT BITCHES!
Hawaii is absolutely beautiful, beats the used-condom-littered College Park scenery any day. Seriously its like living in a post card, or a 1080p HD TV show… SPEAKING OF TV SHOWS;
Look familiar H5-0 fans?!?! HELL YEA IT DOES. All of these shots are graciously shot from the back of the Ta’ufo’ou pick up, which is fucking fun to ride in the back of.
Some familiar faces swaggin’ in the back of a pick up like a bunch of migrant workers, nbd.
Because err’thang in Hawaii has to be big and amazing, we stop by one of their Walmarts. It was glorious and HUGE. What was amazing was how much Asian stuff they had on sale. Seriously gallon jars of kimchi, shrimp crackers, and ramen up the wazoo (WE’RE WINNING, YES!). Which brings me to my second point, there are BILLIONS of Asians here. As a veteran Asian connoisseur (degree pending) I pride myself in my ability to tell which race from another but Anne told me that you really can’t, because they’re all mixed. Which was true at a food court seriously everyone seemed to have a homogeneous and un-pinnable ethnicity (good thing I see racial ambiguity attractive :D).
They even have banks inside the Walmart just incase you don’t think you have enough dough to stuff your fourth trolly of Macadamia nut chocolate (which is like the sexiest and most orgasm inducing piece of brown stuff you will ever encounter). Hawaii definitely is part of the Amurrica we’ve all balooned up and greased up to love.
Some fucking huge trees
So after stocking up on our binge game, we head over back to Casa del Ta’ufo’ou. They live outside of the city of Honolulu in Waimanalu. Fun part was going there, we pass through the highway which is in between two mountains so it’s a crazy ass concentrated wind tunnel (try playing ultimate in that… wait…I have b4, fukuDelaware) and err’thang is gon nuts in the wind. It was hilarious in the back of a pick up going over 75 (speed limit on the island is 50 teehee)
Speedin through the wind tunnel butt-crack between mountains is fun. Cue action blurs.
(Just a heads up, lots of the pictures to follow look like everything is wind swept and bent diaganol but that’s just because my camera is a bit slow and we’re going over the speed limit, it’s not like theres tsunami hurricane winds.. ha. Ha. Too soon?)
Speaking of mountains, they’re every where. It’s fucking gorgeous they’re all green and lush and even better IRL. These were some quick shots from a back of a truck and the family wants to take me hiking one day so better ones are on the way.
And of course I’ve already tanned close to native scale just by riding the home depot employment vehicle but nbd, I won’t get jipped off at the market.
LE BEACH, BITCH
Le swap meet
But first a pretty plumeria tree in bloom at the house:
Anyways THE SWAP MEET. It happens every Wednesday Saturday and Sunday. It’s like the main island’s little tourist trap for cool island stuff, so basiacally I’ll be getting all ya’ll gifts from here prolly. XD
Off with his head
Thumbin her good
Another good thing to try is Li Hing Mui fruit, mango being my favorite.
At first I thought it was going to be spicy seeing that it looked like kimchi, but its actually a bit too sweet and tangy, but its more like candy than fresh fruit it’s so good.
Now for something extremely fattening: MALA-FUCKING-SADAS
Seriously, kinda like a donut but better, soft and sweet inside with sprinkled sugar or cinnamon better.
Seriously, so lazy we don’t have to go to the ATM, the ATM’s come to us.
The American Dream. Auntie takin out the monies and her daughter with the sass
So that’s it so far, and thanks for reading and feel free to creep as much as you desire (I’m easy ;P). Moar to come, promise. I’ll try to update often when I get some down time but right now there isn’t really an internet source other than good ol’ McD’s (all hail Amurrica, tremble under our bigness) or starbucks (fucking hipsters r here too trololol’n). Next mission will be to root my droid for free wireless tethering, street smarts.
Peace out,
-The Prince of Burma
how...rousing
1 comments:
I'll be a really thoughtful sister and buy you a pair of 46 waist pants for when you come home. Something ought to fit you when you come back (;
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